Enter The Insanity
by Xik
Summary: Hm... This is mostly about Malik, Marik, and Bakura, and the crazy stuff they do together, from breaking the breaking the bathroom floor to burning down buildings. XD Warning: Contains sex, yaoi, cussing, and other maniacal stuff I may write about.
1. Chapter Ichi: A Day In The Life Of Malik

_Title of Story: Enter The Insanity_

_Rating: R for profanity, sessyual content, yaoi, deranged humor, and some perverted-ness._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of the characters, but if I did, Malik, Bakura, and I would be in my bedroom, playing 'Cops and Robbers'. XP_

_Note: This fic mainly focuses on Malik and Bakura. The rest of the gang comes in as well, but they're not really main characters. Sorry. :/ Oh, and if text is italicized, it means someone is thinking. (x_

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Chapter One: A Day In The Life Of Malik Ishtar

"Gah. What a horrible dream. Hey—What the..?! **MARIK**!!! Have you been jacking me off at night again?!?!" Malik yelled at his yami, as he looked around his puddle of sweat and –cough- 'male love juices'.

"What? I thought you might like it." Marik snickered, standing in the doorway. He flicked his head at the door, and hid in the closet.

"Malik! It's time for—**OHMYGOD. WHAT IN THE NAME OF RA HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!**" Isis exclaimed, coming in the door.

"That's none of your business." Malik scoffed.

"Hmph. Anyway, it's time for school. Go take a shower, that puddle of 'whatever-that-is' is disgusting." Isis shook her head and left the room.

Marik immediately stepped out of the closet. "Stupid witch. She's always—Hey, where are you going?" Marik asked.

"I'm going to the shower, of course. You can come if you like." Malik replied with a grin.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Marik said, and ran into the bathroom with Malik.

* * *

Later, Isis was making breakfast when she heard noises coming from upstairs. _I wonder what that brother of mine is doing now..._ Isis thought. She simply shook it off and continued to make breakfast.

Upstairs, Malik and Marik were humping like zoo animals. "HARDER! YES! That's it, HARDER!" Malik cried out. "OHHHH YEAH, THAT'S IT! KEEP GOING!" Marik yelled. They were on top of each other, doing it on the tub floor.

Downstairs, to Isis again: _Jeez, what it that racket?! _She thought. Suddenly, the roof appeared with a crack, then slowly the crack got bigger and water started flowing out of the cracks. With a slam, the tub (along with Malik and Marik) came down onto the kitchen table, breaking it.

"**MALIK!!!!**" Isis screamed. "**AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR YAMI?!?!?!" **Malik looked up at his sister, he completely naked and on top of Marik.

"What? Can't you see I'm busy, woman?" Malik replied. Marik looked up at Ishizu and growled. "We were having fun, until you ruined it with your screaming, stupid bitch." He said. Isis stared at Marik blankly and backed away. "...Breakfast...is ready..." She squeaked.

Marik got up in a rage, and toss over the table. "Gah! What can't a man get a good fuck nowadays without being interrupted?!" He yelled.

"Marik, wait!" Malik cried. "What?" Marik asked, putting his clothes on. "I have an idea." Malik said with a slight smirk. Marik got the idea, and starting smirking too.

Isis, who was still in the room, stared bug-eyed at the two who had devilish smirks on their faces, and quietly stalked into the next room.

"Let's hurry to school, so we can continue our little 'game'." Marik whispered. Malik nodded and hurriedly put on his clothes and ran out the door with Marik.

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_And, yeah. This is where the chapter ends. I hope you liked it. Sorry it was short. Hehe. And don't worry, Bakura and the rest of the gang comes in the next chapter! Anyway, R&R. Ja ne!_


	2. Chapter Ni: Waah! Bakura!

_Yay, Chapter Two. Thanks to the only person that reviewed, DBZHobbit! You rawk my sawks._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of the characters, but if I did, this time, Malik, Bakura, and I would be in my closet, playing 'Strip Spin The Bottle'. Haha. XD_

_Note: This fic mainly focuses on Malik and Bakura. It may contain yaoi, so if you hate it, go away. Uhm. Oh yeah, this is where I introduce Bakura into this deranged story of mine. (x_

_Oh, and in this story, Ryou Bakura (The hikari) will be 'Ryou', and Yami Bakura, as some call him, will just be 'Bakura', o-tay?_

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Chapter Two: Waah! Bakura?!

"Wait, before we go to school, I have something to show you Malik." Marik said with a smirk. "What?" Malik asked.

Marik pulled out a three pairs of ordinary looking shoes and a gallon of gasoline. He also pulled out a screwdriver, superglue, corks, and six tubes. He sat on the floor and started peeling off the sole of the shoes with the screwdriver.

Malik sat on the floor as well, and watched in curiosity what Marik was going to do.

Malik took the tubes and attached it to the shoes, and stuck it on the end of the shoes, then super glued the soles back together, and filled the tubes with gasoline, then plugged the tubes with corks.. "Hmph. Carry this. Don't wear it just yet." Marik said to Malik.

Malik grinned with delight. "Now, let's go." He said.

At school, Malik and Marik met up with Bakura. Malik handed Bakura his pair of shoes. "What the hell's this for?" He asked. "Put it on, you too, Malik." Marik ordered.

The three put their shoes on, and Marik soon said, "When we have P.E., I'll tell you."

Bakura smirked, and so did Malik. They understood the plan Marik had. Ryou and the other met up with Malik, Marik, and Bakura. "Bakura, what are you doing with those shoes?" Ryou asked. "That's none of your concern, little hikari." He answered. Ryou frowned.

"Well, class should be starting soon, Bakura. We should go." Ryou stated, tugging on Bakura's sleeve.

Bakura grumbled a few colorful words and trudged off, following behind Ryou.

Marik and Malik laughed at Bakura, as he glared at them.

* * *

At first period, Malik and Marik AND Bakura had Math together. Math, English, and P.E. were the only classes the three were in, together.

Malik, Marik, and Bakura took seats next to each other, smirking. The teacher, Ms. Kasuga (Yeah, I LOVE Azumanga Daioh. I chose Osaka's name for a reason, ya know.) smiled and greeted the class.

"Good morning, class! Let's start by reviewing last night's homework." She glanced at her seating chart and said, "Mr. Malik Ishtar, what's the answer to number 1?"

Malik looked down at his homework sheet, it was completely blank. "Uh...One hundred million three-hundred seventy-four?" He asked, making the number up out of the top of his head.

"Correct!" Kasuga-sensei replied. Bakura nudged Malik in the side, and snorted.

Ms. Kasuga was a fun teacher. Sometimes she would be 'lost in space', and blurted random things out loud, which is one of the reasons Marik, Malik, and Bakura liked her. She wasn't very bright.

They often turned in blank homework, made fun of her, and try to 'communicate her thinking' by blurting out random things as well.

"Okay, Bakura...? Erm... I'm sorry, I seem to have forgotten your first name..." She said.

"My name is Bakura." He replied. "Yes, I know your last name, but what is your first?" Ms. Kasuga asked. "Bakura." Bakura answered.

"No, no, no. That's not what I meant, I meant your first name!" Kasuga restated.

"I SAID MY NAME IS BAKURA, WOMAN! DAMMIT, CAN'T YOU HEAR?!" He yelled.

....OO;;;

"Uhhhh... Yes.. Okay, Mr. Bakura... What is the answer to number 2?" Ms. Kasuga asked meekly.

Bakura growled and looked down at his paper, which was blank, and was stained with blood. "The answer is...blood." He muttered.

"Ah... No, I'm afraid that's not correct..." Ms. Kasuga murmured. Bakura snarled at her. "AAH, WHY YES, IT IS CORRECT!" Ms. Kasuga said.

Malik elbowed Bakura in the side, bursting with laughter.

* * *

Skipping along to P.E., which is second period, by the way. Malik, Marik, and Bakura walked to the gym outside of the school building, right next to the track field, bringing their shoes with them.

"So, now what do we do with these damn shoes?!" Bakura asked impatiently.

"Put them on, of course. We're gonna be running track today. This is gonna be fun." Malik said.

"Yeah, and I bet I'm going to beat both of your sorry asses all the way around the school!" Marik announced, tying his shoe.

"Not if I beat it first." Bakura retorted.

"HEY! I thought _I'm_ the only one who's allowed to **beat** your ass, Marik!" Malik said, whiningly.

"Of course you are, so can Bakura." Marik replied.

"Heh heh. We better go to the field where the idiots are. How do you work these again?" Bakura asked.

You have to run on your soles. If you run regularly, it won't work." Marik answered.

* * *

So, the trio went to the field and met with their P.E. teacher, Mr. Manuke (Yes, I DO know what his name means. (x) "Alright, you all will be runnin' track today! I wantcha to run 8 laps, if ya can! Now, go get started!" Mr. Manuke announced in his loud Osakan accent.

"Wahaha." Bakura giggled.

The three started running at the same time, on their soles, around the school building, as flames left a trail from where they started.

"AAAAHHH!!!!" Were screams that came from inside the building, as they were surrounded by fire as Malik, Marik and Bakura ran around them.

Each person smirked at each other, and tried to stall each other by doing things like trying to trip each other, punching each other, and Marik was trying to use his Sennen rod to control Malik and Bakura, but Malik took it away from him.

A screaming Ryou emerged from the building. "Bakura! What have you done, now?!?!" Yugi, Honda, Anzu, and Jou followed Ryou, panting. "AAH, you guys! My hairs on fire!" Jounouchi exclaimed. "I'll help you, Jou!" Yugi declared.

Yugi tried to douse the fire by throwing a bucket of water over his head, but ended up throwing an empty bucket on Jou's head. Honda panicked, and hurriedly tried to find something to put out the fire, and ripped Anzu's skirt off and started fanning out the fire.

Jou was running around like an idiot, while Anzu was screaming and whacking Honda on the head, Yugi was trying to catch up with Jou, and Ryou was running, trying to catch up with the screaming Anzu.

"Man, I think they're acting more insane than **us**." Marik whispered. Malik and Bakura nodded in agreement. OO

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_Wahaha. This time I made the fic extra long. I hope you guys liked it. Anyway, if you guys (who watcheth the crappy American version) and are confused, Anzu is Tea, Jou/ Jounouchi is Joey, Honda (Beep, beep! oO;;;) is Tristan, and well, Yugi is YUGI! I know I haven't mentioned him in the story yet, but Otogi is Duke. Anyway, R&R. -_


	3. Chaper Three: Hand Over The Money!

_Hoorah, Chapter Three! ;D Oh, and I forgot to mention this, but I KNOW that Malik and Marik are the same people, ya know, the Japanese thing with the r's and l's. _

_But, in MY story, they're separate people. Malik is the hikari, and Marik the darker half. I don't like calling Marik, 'Yami Malik' because Marik isn't exactly a 3000/5000-year-old ancient spirit. Ya know what I mean? _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of the characters, but if I did, Malik, Marik, Bakura, and I would go around, doing drive-by's with paintball guns around my neighborhood. Wahaha._

_Note: This fic mainly focuses on Malik and Bakura. It may contain yaoi, so if you hate it, go away._

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Chapter Three: Hand Over The Money!

"WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU BOYS THINKING?!" The principal boomed.

"Hey! I'm not a 'boy'! I'm a man! **A SEXY MAN**!" Marik complained.

"Me too! I'm not a boy, I'm a **HOT, SEXY** man!" Bakura added.

"**AND I'M A DILDO**!" Malik yelled.

....OO;;;;

After a moment of stifled silence, the principal continued. "For your punishment, I think I'll have you three serve detention for two months and you'll also have to---"

Before he could finish his sentence, Bakura was already sending the principal to the shadow realm. "Haha. Detention, my ass." Bakura scoffed.

* * *

Malik and Marik snickered and went to the cafeteria, since it was lunchtime already. 

"Damnit! I don't have any money." Bakura cursed aloud.

"Hm, I didn't bring any 'cause I thought _you_ were gonna bring it." Malik said.

"So did I." Marik added.

Malik, Marik, and Bakura, their pockets empty, set out to find a victim that would hand over their money.

That victim was –- Yugi.

* * *

The trio sat down at the table to where 'The Midget', 'The Spanking Monkey', 'The Pansy-Ass Albino', 'The Whoring Bitch', and 'The Barking Chihuahua' were sitting. (-cough- I think you can pretty much guess who they are. T.T) 

"Hey, whaddya guys want from us?" Jou asked.

"None of your business. We just wanted to speak with Yugi." Malik said with a malicious smirk.

"Yeah, well, it **is** my business when it gots ta do with Yugi over here!" Jou retorted, standing up.

"Oh, shut your balls, dog, before I send them to the Shadow Realm." Marik threatened.

Jou immediately sat down, cowering in fear.

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"So, Yugi, how are you doing?" Malik asked, a fake smile on his face. 

...o.o

"U-Uhm... Fin-n-ne..." Yugi squeaked.

"Hmph. Let me try. Say, Yugi, you have any extra change?" Bakura asked.

...o.o;;;

"U-U-Uhm... N-ny-yes-n-no... I-I don't know...." Yugi stammered, getting more scared by the second.

"Grah. My turn." Marik said. "**HEY MIDGET! GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY, OR I'LL MURDER YOU!!!**" He yelled, unsheathing the blade under his Sennen rod, holding it up against Yugi's throat.

...O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"AAAAaaaHHHHHhhhhh!!!!!!!" Yugi screamed, running out of the cafeteria.

Honda, Anzu, and Jou dashed after Yugi, but Ryou stayed.

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"If all this is about money, Bakura, you could've just asked." Ryou sighed, handing Bakura 1,000 ¥. **(Note: 1,000 ¥, or Yen, is about $10.00.) **And, went to follow Yugi and the rest of the gang. 

"Oh no, you don't! Come back here!" Marik yelled, grabbing the back of Ryou's sweater and pinning him against the wall.

"Heh heh. I'm sorry, chaps. I'm afraid I don't have any more change." Ryou nervously chuckled.

"'No money', my ass! WHERE IS IT?!?!" Marik yelled, shaking Ryou.

"Y'know, thinking about it, I don't need money. Your sweet juice is enough to satisfy me, babe." Bakura interrupted.

"Yeah." Malik agreed.

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The three gave each other smirks, and then immediately ran to the bathroom to –cough- do their 'thing'. 

So, Ryou was left dumbfounded on the floor, clutching 1,000 ¥ in hand.

"Hey, you guys! Wait for meeee!" Ryou yelled, running after them.

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Sorry this took so long, I've been busy playing Ragnarok Online. (Which is THE funnest, addicting game I've ever played. X3), so yeah. Sorry for that. Hope you like this chapter. This idea for this thing just popped in my head at 3:51 a.m. this morning. (Yeah, I do keep track of the time.) 

Anywhoo, I'm hoping to add Otogi or Seto in the next chapter. R&R, ja!


End file.
